7 months ago our life changed forever- we became parents.  Little did I know that 6 months ago my idea of what challenges lay ahead were really going to be tested.  When we got pregnant everyone who was already a parent told us the same thing, parenthood is the most rewarding and challenging experience of your life.  I got a real wake up call when I was diagnosed during a time where my biggest worry should have been lack of sleep.  I wanted to write this post to let you in on my most wonderful experience – my pregnancy. Because of my diagnosis I have not been able to talk or even think about what happened before Cancer became apart of our life.  But I don’t want it to be overlooked because it was the most magical experience and I will never forget it.

My entire pregnancy was amazing- I never got sick, I barely gained any weight and I overall felt happy all the time.  I knew from the moment I got pregnant that I was going to deliver naturally (after all- I am a Chiropractor ;)) with that being said its a lot easier said than done.  I stated to do extensive research on all the physical and mental work I would have to put in within the 9 months to get my body ready. I came across the Bradley method after talking to my patients and colleagues about my plan.  I purchased a copy of it on amazon and got to work.  I practiced the stretches, exercises, breathing and mental affirmations until the day I went into labor.  I also continued to work out – primarily strength training 6 days per week and the most important thing I did was to get adjusted two times per week.  I can not stress how important it is for your body to be well adjusted.  Having a baby naturally is like running a marathon you can’t just get up and do it- you have to train for it.

My labor story:  on Thursday August 4th at 1:30am I was fast asleep when I felt liquid.  I woke Bar up and told him what I felt, he immediately told me to go stand in the bath tub.  As soon as I did a lot more water came out and it was confirmed that my water broke.  We called Northwestern to let them know we were going to be coming in.  I started to get worried, every book I read stated that if your water broke but contractions did not start you would have to be induced.  Bar told me to relax and not to worry about what might happen.  I decided to take a shower, after all I knew I was about to have a baby might as well look presentable for it 😉 as soon as I got out of the shower my contractions started (YAY!) they were very mild and tolerable.  After I blow-dried my hair and started to straighten it they got worse.  I was timing them at 1 minute long and 5 minutes apart.  By the time we got to the car they intensified even more and the 15 minute ride to the hospital felt like an eternity.  We got to Northewestern at 3:00am.  We got checked in to triage and I was asked if I was going to get an epidural I said No and we were placed in a triage room.  As soon as we got settled I was told I was 4 cm dilated and that it would be awhile, it was now 4:00am and I told Bar to call our parents so my dad wouldn’t leave for work and instead would come here. Then Bar left to go park our car since it was still in Valet.  As soon as he got back my contractions were out of control and I felt the urge to ‘push.’  Of course I had never had a baby before so I didn’t know if I was right but from my research it was described as the urge to make a bowel movement and that’s exactly what I felt.  I told Bar to please get a nurse for me so they can check my dilation.  The nurse entered my room and told me a room was not ready for me in labor and delivery and that I would be here for awhile.  I told her that I felt like I needed to push.  At first she ignored me and then looked up from the monitors and asked me what I just said to her.  I repeated myself between my painful contractions and she immediately checked my dilation and stated, “baby girl you are complete, you are 10cm!” She looked at me in disbelief.  She started breaking down the bed and yelling that we needed to hussle it as fast as we could upstairs to labor and delivery.  I start to freak out but calmed myself and replayed everything in my head of what I learned to stop the baby from coming.  I was not about to have him in the elevator!! We got upstairs around 6am and none of my doctors were around but a sweet resident, Dr. Charlene Butler calmed me down and told me that she was going to deliver my baby.  At this point I didn’t care who was going to deliver him because he was on his way out regardless.  I started pushing and at 6:48am Kiaan arrived.  As soon as he was in the world I started crying because I couldn’t believe I just did what I wanted and I had a healthy baby boy.  That was the most exhilarating moment of my life thus far.

As I think back about his birth I still can’t believe my body was able to deliver a healthy baby boy naturally while I had a tumor inside me.  The human body is amazing and is capable of things we can only imagine.  It’s crazy how life gives us challenges when you least expect it.  I thought my hardest challenge would be the delivery of my baby and tackling parenthood.  Little did I know we would be tested 3-fold.  Our trip to Bali got me reflecting on my life and that’s what made me think of my delivery.  As much as you can plan and prepare for life there will always be challenges and you have to remember that even in the toughest times, to be grateful.

I am blessed to have a baby boy, a husband who loves me unconditionally, a loyal dog, a supportive family and an amazing body that can literally handle anything!

I am ready for my #cancerfree life.  This past Friday on February 10th I had my  lumpectomy surgery, it went as smooth as possible.  I had my surgery scheduled for 11:45am and I wondered why they had told me to get there at 7am.  To prepare for the long wait I charged my IPad overnight and even packed a book.  As soon as we got to Northwestern I was immediately taken to nuclear medicine.  I was injected with a dye in my left breast and placed in a scanner that took multiple images.  The purpose of this pre-op was to track the cancer if it were to spread.  This is done so the surgeon knows exactly what lymph nodes to biopsy.   This took about an hour and 4 lymph nodes lit up which were then marked.  After nuclear medicine I was taken to Radiology for my needle localization.  This is where the radiologist placed me in a mammogram to mark where the tumor was.  They placed 3 needles around my now gone tumor site and where calcifications still existed.  This took 2 tries but I had the best Radiologist on my case and she did such an amazing job again.  (She also performed my original biopsy to detect my cancer)  After radiology they let me know that as soon as Dr. Hansen my surgeon got the biopsy for my lymph nodes they would be tested right away and we would know if the cancer had spread or not.  I was then wheeled into pre-op.  My anesthesiologist came in to let me know what was going to happen during my procedure and what medications would be administered.  My nurse started my IV, the surgeon came and the next thing I knew I woke up in recovery.

After I woke up my surgeon walked in and let me know that all 4 lymph nodes were NEGATIVE and the cancer did not spread.  She also, as expected, had a very successful lumpectomy and told me to follow-up with her in a week.  I was ecstatic and told the nurse I was ready to go home.  She giggled at me and told me I needed to rest for at least 30 minutes.  After an hour she wheeled me into another recovery room where Bar was waiting for me and immediately said I could go home whenever I was ready.  We left the hospital around 230pm and made our way home.  The days following I felt soreness at the site and swelling, all normal responses.  Its amazing to see what allopathic medicine is capable of, I don’t have a single scar and all my stitches are internal so they will heal on their own.

I am ready to move on and leave all of this behind me.  One main thing I wanted to feel normal with is my appearance.  It is crazy to think what the human body goes through and what a toll it can take on your face.  The person you are seeing in the mirror is not someone you recognize.  Luckily there are so many ways especially as a female to help with this-fake eyelashes, fake hair and of course make-up.  I took before and after photos to show the reality of Cancer.  But luckily it being 6 weeks from my last chemo session I have started to see significant changes.   My hair is starting to sprout, my eyebrows are coming back and the amazing drug Latisse is getting my eyelashes on point.

I am unable to work because of the location of my surgery and the healing process.  I will be out of the office for 3 weeks so after recovering for 10 days our surgeon cleared us to travel.  Next week we leave for Bali- a county of serenity, natural medicine, beautiful weather and a place that will make us look forward to what our future holds-a cancer free life.

Post-chemo life is everything I have dreamed of and more.   I feel like each day I am getting closer and closer to what ‘normal’ will be. 2 weeks post chemo felt surreal since we did not have to go to Northwestern for chemo- who knew this day would have so much meaning.  The weekend didn’t seem real at all.  But as soon as we woke up I knew we had to do something special to celebrate our first ‘free’ weekend.  Originally we had planned to do a weekend getaway to Sedona, Arizona but plans had to change since my in-laws or parents would not be around to babysit Kiaan.  So instead after we woke up that weekend and heard on the news that the Bulls game was at 4:30pm instead of 7:00pm which was perfect since it doesn’t interfere with Kiaan’s bed time so we had to make it happen.  We bought tickets that morning and decided it would be the best way to celebrate our chemo-free weekend!  We had such as good day, Kiaan was amazing: he enjoyed the pre-game, the intro, took a nap and then enjoyed the end of the game.  He is the biggest blessing that could happen during this turbulent time and we could not be more grateful.

This past week on January 11th I got to compete another milestone of life and celebrate my 32nd birthday!  I am so lucky to be alive and to experience milestones such as my birthday and Kiaan’s first Bulls game- I could not be more thankful.  I have always loved birthdays but this day I absorbed and felt all day.  I know that it is a blessing to be in the world to experience another year of life and that it is not always guaranteed.  I will always celebrate each birthday from hear on out and live life to the fullest each day.  I am always blessed and this day was no different. My brother, Mitesh surprised me and Bar with a tasting menu and drinks at The Aviary  on Tuesday night the day before my birthday.  It was so thoughtful and I am forever thankful for this gesture.  He is the sweetest and this was such a great surprise, what a great way to kick off 32!  I took the day of my birthday off of work and it was the best decision I ever made.   I woke up late (thanks to bar for waking up for Kiaan) we went to brunch as a family of 3 plus HD 😉 and got to relax all day at home.  3 of my favorite things.

Another aspect of post-chemo I was not expecting is losing my eyelashes.  Up until this point I had my appointments to get my mink eyelashes done but now that I do not have any regular eyelashes my eyelash lady stated she can not add my minks 😦  Luckily I have the sweetest friends who also happen to be MDs and they recommended that I start on latisse to jump start my eyelash growth.  Unfortunetly modern medicine is not quick enough so I had to find alternative methods.  My fashionista sister, Gargi recommended Ardell eyelashes so I started experimenting with those so I could still feel beautiful.

Another aspect of cancer that has been hard to grasp is the changes it has done to my body.  Besides giving birth to Kiaan I have always had a body that was well worked out or ‘fit.’  Ever since college I have had a routine of working out and never let my body go.  I have never had a gut, flabby arms or a flabby butt.  I have always taken a priority to look my best.  With Chemo I have had no control.  I still have continued to work out, eat right and follow my daily routine but my hormones had other plans.  This body and face I see in the mirror is something I don’t recognize and hope that some day soon it will be something I will be proud of. Until then I will continue fueling this body of mine with the best nutrients, thoughts and exercise I can.  Photo is 2 days post Kiaan and 2 weeks post Chemo.

It’s crazy to think of the emotions my body has gone through with each of these milestones and I cannot thank family and friends enough for their support.  Here is to a successful surgery and full recovery and did I mention a celebratory trip to BALI! You know Cancer would never stop this travel loving couple 😉

I realize I have not updated my blog in over 2 weeks especially since I hit a grand milestone last week.  I had my last chemo session EVER on December 30, 2016.  I had been looking forward to this day of course ever since I started Chemo on September 23.  This day had so much meaning when I got diagnosed because it would mean 2016 would end and I would have a new beginning to life in 2017.  2016 was the year for the highest of highs with the birth of our son, Kiaan and the lowest of lows of getting Breast Cancer. Who knew one year could have so much meaning.  Although after my last session I felt like I was hit with a brick wall. Starting January 1st (ironic since it was the first day of 2017) I started the morning off fine but got hit with extreme bone and joint pain as the day progressed.  It only got worse as the week progressed.  I took alternating Tylenol and Ibuprofen every 4 hours and still had no relief.  For the first time in my career I almost called off work because of the pain.  My finger and toe nails hurt so badly that I literally thought they were going to fall off.  This was all so new to me considering the side effects had been very minimal to this point.  I of course having the personality that I have kept on going.  I took naps during my breaks from work and slept as soon as I got home.  I did not want this last session to get the best of me.  I did not have energy to do anything else, which is the reason for my delayed post.

My last session of chemo felt like it was my birthday!  My sisters, our best friends, my brothers and my husband were all with me to celebrate.  I had gotten our nurses gifts for Christmas/thank you for everything they had done for us in the past 8 sessions.  Nurses deserve so much praise because they are at the forefront of patient care and I can’t thank them enough for being so kind, supportive and just good at what they do!  I always felt well taken care of and they never once made me feel like I was ”sick.”    This session started out a lot different than my other sessions because I had scheduled my mammogram and ultrasound for that morning as well.  My surgeon, Dr. Hansen needs imaging post chemo so she knows exactly where the tumor is and where she has to make the incision.  I had a breast MRI done a week prior and the radiologist told me that the tumor had shrunk from 5.8 to 3.2 cm (WAHOO!) and that I just needed a mammogram to confirm the size of my calcifications.  In true Northwestern fashion I got to my mammogram/ultrasound appointment 30 minutes early so they took me in right away.  Side note- I can not give enough praise to Northwestern as well.  This hospital has NEVER made us wait for a doctors appointments, blood work, imaging or even chemo they have always taken me at my scheduled appointment time or earlier.  Their model is amazing and as a patient I appreciate that they value my time.    The radiologist comes into the room after my ultrasound to show me the images right away and confirms that the tumor has in fact shrunk and agrees with the surgeons decision for a lumpectomy.  He also tells me that although my tumor usually responds to chemo that he has never seen such a great response.  Oh do I love this body of mine 🙂

After I complete my imaging appointments I head over to the other side to start my last session of chemo.  The infusion floor is a lot more packed than usual and we don’t get a private room this time.  We get seated in a POD and my nurse, Amy comes right away to start my pre-meds.  As my pre-meds are infusing my squad starts to show up with balloons, a sign and cupcakes!! I was SO excited.  Chemo sucks, hospitals suck but friends/family are what makes suffering through all of this worth it.  Our sweet friend, Hari got me custom cupcakes from Molly’s that each had a special word on them.  The first letter of each word spelled out chemotherapy and had a meaning that was related back to me.  He is so very thoughtful and I can’t thank you enough Hari for doing this for me!  My sister, Gargi made the sweetest sign that I got to take pictures with.  And then I had my support-my sister Sadhna, brother mitesh, future brother Rishi and of course my amazing husband, Bar.  After all the celebrating and pictures the boys left to go get us all lunch while my sisters stayed with me.   8 minutes into my Taxol infusion I got the feeling again that my throat was closing up.  My sister flagged down my nurse and she again had to administer another steroid to combat my allergic reaction.  Its so interesting how the human body works.  I didn’t have a reaction my first or third infusion but the second and last.  This was so scary for me but at least its the last time I will ever have to deal with it.

Because I knew chemo was ending December 3o we decided to host a New Year’s Eve party to celebrate the start of 2017 and end of 2016!  All of my closest friends and family were there and it was such a great way to ring in 2017.  I had prepared for weeks for this party  by pinterest-ing my way for the décor.  I love to host and I wanted this party to be one for the books.  Since it was also Kiaan’s first New Year I planned on it being extra special.   Before the party my sister,Sadhna and her fiancé Rishi came over early so we could exchange Christmas gifts and they got us the most thoughtful presents.  Because of chemo my anxiety has been off the charts and I had been looking up natural ways to cope with it.  Being a Chiropractor my fellow peers are always finding new things to help naturally.  A Himalayan salt lamp is something I came  across in my research and kept putting it off to purchase one.  Ironically Rishi bought me one for Christmas!  It has already helped keep me calm and I am so grateful for this gift.  Another side effect I have been having trouble withis sore and stiff muscles.  Sadhna bought me a gift card to red door salon, and our friend Hari got us massages at elements in the south loop.  Now that chemo is behind me I can’t wait to pamper myself with all these gifts.

Chemo has ended, 2016 has ended but the fight is not over.  I have a follow-up with my surgeon next week to discuss the results of my imaging and then surgery scheduled February 10th with radiation to follow.  Although this journey is not over I am so grateful for modern medicine that has helped me get this far and I am excited to get my hair, my nails and my body back to ‘normal.’

Curve ball- when something comes your way that is unexpected.  Up until this point the cards I had been dealt with this whole diagnosis I knew what the outcome would be.  December 30th would be my last day of chemo and I would prepare for surgery and then put all this behind us.

My last chemo session on December 2nd I had my second round of Taxol.  It started just like a normal session blood work, meet with my oncologist and then start my infusion.  After I was given my pre-meds of Pepcid, Benadryl and dexamethasone I was about to enter into my snooze fest.  The nurse comes in with my drug Taxol and is about to start the drip but informs me that she will sit with me for 30 minutes after she starts it to make sure I don’t have an allergic reaction.  While she is explaining this to me my throat starts to close up and I am having trouble breathing.  I signal this to her and she states that the drug has not even started yet.  Regardless she acts quick on her feet and administers yet another steroid, solucortef.  She said this is common to happen at the second session and is not concerned.  Because of this reaction my chemo gets pushed by an hour and keeps us there until 3pm.  This was something I was of course not expecting since my body has been responding to everything else so amazing.  Little bumps in the road happen and this was mine.

I have this personality that when something is going on in my life I can not focus or put my energy towards anything else until the issue at hand is resolved.  With this diagnosis being at the forefront of my daily life everything else has been put on the back burner. My husband, Bar on the other hand is amazing when it comes to solving multiple issues all at once.  One thing we had wanted to do after Kiaan was born was to decide on getting a more family friendly car.  I knew that this was the last thing on my mind right now and wanted to think about it after all this was behind us.  My husband had other plans.  Last week he calls me on his way home from work and says that we are going to stop at the Acura dealership on our way to dinner that night to at least test drive some cars.  I agree and that night we ended up purchasing our Acura MDX SUV.  This was a reminder to me that life goes on and decisions need to be made.

This past Thursday December 15th we met with my surgeon Dr. Hansen.   Since its getting close to the end of Chemo and my tumor is gone my Oncologist suggested we meet with her to discuss surgical options and any imaging she needs prior to surgery.  Upon meeting with her she confirmed that in fact on palpation my tumor is gone (WAHOO!)  and that I would be getting a lumpectomy scheduled for February 10th, 2017.  What she also stated was that after surgery I would need radiation therapy 5 days per week for a month!!! I was taken aback by this as was Bar because we had thought since I had such a great response to chemo that our only other thing would be surgery and then I would be done.  It seems as the more plans I make to put all this behind me its a lot easier said than done.  Things are coming up that are beyond our control and the best we can handle it is to accept it and move on.  I have learned to keep on living life regardless of the cards I am dealt.

With that being said I had my 7th out of 8th chemo session this past Friday the 16th and it went flawless! It was a quick infusion (no allergic reactions) and my sweet cousin Rashmi even came for a visit.  I can not wait to be done next week on December 30th and end 2016 with a bang.  To end this weekend off I baked a bunch of Christmas cookies with Kiaan to give to our security staff in our buildings to take my mind of my health and to start traditions with my son.  We also started Kiaan on solids.  Lots of firsts for him this weekend 🙂  The one thing to always remember is when life throws you a curve ball is to hit a home run and celebrate.

These last 3 weeks have been rough to say the least.  Being at work has been great and Kiaan has been taken care of well by our amazing parents.  Unfortunately one of the side effects of my chemo drugs is early menopause.  What that means besides a slow metabolism is also a unpredictable emotional state.  I did not realize this would affect me as much as it has.  What happens is if someone disagrees with me on anything or questions what I am doing, I lose it.  Not usually at them but emotionally, I just end up going on this rampage of tears that I can not stop.  Its been hard because I have never been a person affected by others and I used to rarely cry unless we are watching a sad movie lol.  This is all been such a new experience as everything else and I am slowly learning how to control it.  One good thing that has helped me recently is knowing that I only have 3 chemo sessions left!  I started my new drug cocktail of Taxol last Friday and it has had such a different response on me than my first session.  This drug has a history of 5% of people that have been on it to have an allergic reaction where you go into an anaphylactic shock.  Because of this statistic every patient is given 50mg of Benadryl to control the reaction in turn making my chemo session a snooze fest. During my appointment my Oncologist confirmed again that the tumor was gone based on palpation, wahoo!! She did also go over the new side effects that I could experience with Taxol.  She stated majority of patients experience numbness and tingling in their fingertips and toes and their nails feel brittle as if they are about to break off.  She said I should respond just fine considering I barely had any side effects with my first chemo drugs.  Another aspect of life I have been working on is to be grateful.  In order to get more in life you have to be grateful for what you have.  Gratitude towards everything only offers you more abundance for more things.  So this year since its Kiaan’s first Thanksgiving I decorated our condo with gratitude in order to remind him and ourselves that even though we have this hardship to get through there are always amazing things to be grateful for.  Also I LOVE the holidays so any excuse to get festive, I am game!

We also celebrated a Thanksgiving with our friends and I baked an apple pie from scratch for the first time.  This is a tradition we have been doing for the past 8 years and its so nice to keep it going which again helps keep the ‘normal’ in my life.  Actual Thanksgiving was also such a fun time because Sadhna, her fiancé Rishi and Mitesh (Bar’s brother) flew in from LA and New York to be with us which is always so great to have everyone together.  Our younger sister, Gargi hosted the dinner and had made everything and anything.  She is always such a great host and it was so fun to see the babies (Ariaan and Kiaan) interact.  It had been so long since they have been awake together.  Oh babies and their schedules!  Also a couple of days before Thanksgiving my sweet friend Kyle (who is also a Chiropractor) and has been helping me with increasing my supplements dropped off a home-made juice.  It was such a sweet surprise to come home too and it was oh so delicious and refreshing.

Even with the fun holiday food and hang-outs I have been very good with my paleo diet and trying new recipes.  I made spaghetti squash for the first time and turned it into a vegetable chow mein.  I also made cauliflower fried ‘rice’ and it was a hit with my meat-eating sweet husband.  It has been really fun to try new recipes and change the way we eat, it has definitely helped minimize my weight gain that was expected with the chemo and not to mention it has helped me maintain or exceed my normal energy levels.

I started back at work last week Wednesday,  it was so great to be back.  With everything going on I wanted some normalcy back in my life and the thing that was missing was working.  It was so great to stay home as much as I could with Kiaan but it was nice to return to my normal routine.  The week before I went back was Kiaan’s first Halloween, we all decided to dress up as superman/women/baby/dog.  It was really fun to dress up and take Kiaan out to his first trick-or-treating event.  These firsts and milestones will not come back and I am happy that I am healthy enough to enjoy these with him.

Another unfortunate side effect of chemotherapy besides hair loss is the loss of eyelashes. Not necessarily the loss of eyelashes but lack of regrowth.  Eyelashes normally fall out everyday and re-grow within 2 weeks.  When you are on Chemotherapy lashes fall out but don’t end up re-growing until you are off the drugs.  I generally have amazing long thick eyelashes so I knew as soon as they started to fall/thin out.  Luckily I have an amazing fashionable, make-up savvy sister Gargi that came to my rescue right away. She has a friend that does permanent mink eyelashes that lives in her building.  She connected us right away and viola I now have semi-permanent lashes that look as natural as possible and need to be re-done every 2-4 weeks!  Its crazy to think that not even over 2 months ago I had NO idea what wearing a wig entailed, how to plush-up my eyebrows and now wearing mink eyelashes.  I am very blessed that these are options for myself and make me feel normal in a time where normal has a completely different definition.

Going back to my office was such a easy transition and felt like home.  My staff was so welcoming along with my patients, it was as if I had never left.  I went to the office early on Wednesday to set-up our month of gratitude for November.  After the patients started coming for their appointments I noticed a change in their demeanor as soon as they saw the décor their attitudes changed and they became more open.  I love when the vibe in the office changes.  My staff and I also decided to support the Cubs victory and wear our cubs gear- it was such a nice transition back into my work life.

I also had my last session of my drug cocktail Adriamycin and Cytoxan on Friday-HALFWAY DONE with chemo!! This was such a relief considering this cocktail is a lot more toxic and has a lot more side effects than my next one- Taxol.  This appointment was also great because the Oncologist said my tumor was UN-palpable meaning the tumor is essentially gone.  Lots of good news all around 🙂  This was also the day of the Cubs parade and it was nice to be in the heart of the city with a birds-eye view of our Cubbies.

This weekend was also fun because we had a couple of visitors to meet Kiaan for the first time.  Jane has been a really good friend of mine since Chiropractic school, she is also one of the few friends I have that I can talk to about anything.  I love her calmness when it comes to questions that she asks and solutions that she offers. I just love our friendship and we are very blessed to have her and Mike in our lives.  Next time we are going to hang out in the suburbs so we can see Kiaan and Bri interact!

I have said it before, but there is nothing like family and friends to get you through your hardest obstacles in life.  Hanging out with friends and family makes you realize what truly matters and that whatever hurdles life throws at you, you will find a way to overcome them with love and distractions.

When this diagnosis came into our life our world was turned upside down.  With a  new baby new changes always follow but little did we know we would be dealing with such drastic changes in such a short amount of time.  Our families have always been amazing and supportive throughout this process, we are blessed to have them around us.  One thing no one realizes is that when you encounter something like cancer or any health-related diagnosis there SO many avenues for treatments, what the right thing to do is, what is the right thing to eat is and what and how many doctors should be counseled.  Advice is always great to make sure that you are looking at all aspects of treatments to get the best one possible.  But for a second I want to rant about the frustrations I feel when I want to listen to everyone but I am the most stubborn person you have ever met.  (I can thank my Capricorn star sign for that one).  When I make up my mind about what I want to do, I do it.  I know in my heart what I have decided will prevail and it is the right approach.  One thing I have learned and am continuing to learn is that letting your guard down goes a long way.  You have to let people in, in order to be the best version of yourself and to get the help you need.

This approach helped me emotionally deal with the hardest thing I knew I would have to encounter- my hair loss.  Last week my hair felt so ‘dead’ that I just wanted it off my head.  I didn’t know how I would tackle this alone.  My parents were coming up to the City to hang out with Kiaan and Ariaan the next day at Gargi’s condo so I called them up and asked my dad to bring his hair buzzer along.  Side note,  in our culture when babies are young they get their heads shaved off to help grow healthy hair.  My sisters both had their heads shaved as babies, I never did.  This was the MOST emotional thing I have ever had to experience in my life thus far.  I had my dad do the honors of buzzing my hair.  He was so nonchalant about it that it made me feel like this was no big deal at all.  Anytime I need to feel calm about life or anything that is bothering my dad helps me get that way right away.  This dreaded day came and left and I am so happy my parents were there every step of the way.

This was a drastic change that I knew I would have to face and I am glad its over.  But as anything in life you pick yourself up and it goes on.  I still get emotional from time to time but I know it will grow back and until then I will be rocking some fancy wigs and some chic hats!  Last week was also one of our Indian Holidays – Karvachauth.  It is a holiday where you fast for your husbands life. This would be my 3rd year participating in the tradition and I wasn’t about to let my Chemo get in the way of that.  I love our Indian culture and traditions and since my biggest thing with everything going on is that-I just want to be normal.  I did everything I would normally have done to celebrate the holiday and my body handled everything just amazing.  Its phenomenal to see what a little mindset does for your well-being.

I also had my 3rd session of Chemo on Friday and it was all around great news.  My tumor has shrunk to the size of a pebble, I only need 5 more treatments and all my labs are great.  My oncologist is very optimistic that I will complete Chemo on December 30th and have surgery at the end of January.  She even reinforced our idea of a big travel trip in January to celebrate completing chemo.   At this session I was happy to have 2 amazing visitors one of my best friends, Diane and my sweet cousin Shilpy.  This weekend of chemo was also fun-filled with my sister Sadhna visiting from LA to hang with the babies.  We went to the pumpkin patch and got to celebrate one of our friends daughter turning 2.  It is always so nice to be around people that you love to make you forget about what is the normal reality and what changes the future may hold.

Healing from anything for me is a process that involves 3 things:  the mind, the body and the spirit.  Naturally then dealing with my recent diagnosis I had to make sure I was fulfilling all these needs.  When it comes to the mind I have to make sure to maintain my social ties and to keep my mind relaxed with arts and crafts.  There is just something so therapeutic for me when it comes to socializing with friends and doing DIY projects.  Normally I am a person that likes to be alone and just be with myself but after everything going on I realized I need to be with people to help keep my mind off of what my body is going through.  I have been planning lunches with friends, going to events that I am invited to and hanging out with family whenever I can.   For arts and crafts I LOVE to do stuff for my patients at my office.  My company has been really supportive with everything I am dealing with and have allowed to me to take time and come back when I am ready.  I really enjoy working and seeing my patients so I am not delaying my return and will go back to work when my maternity leave ends on November 2nd.  For my patients at my clinic in Forest park since I am coming back in November I have decided that our office theme for the month will be gratitude. Gratitude holds a special place for me because I have learned in order to achieve anything in life, you have to first be grateful for what you have.  I am so grateful to be a Chiropractor and that daily I get to help patients achieve their optimal health goals through the power of chiropractic.  Since my patients are like family to me, I made a gratitude turkey and will ask them to write on the feathers what they are thankful for.  I am also going to raffle off a $100 Mariano’s gift card in the spirit of thanksgiving to give my patients an incentive to keep their appointments.  I love treating my patients to gifts like this because it keeps them excited about our office and  makes us all feel like family.

When it comes to the body I have been an avid yogi since I was young and continue to practice this art.  Yoga helps me relax in a way that cleanses me from the inside out.  I try and do yoga everyday even if it is for only 20 minutes.  The other thing that is essential to my health is Chiropractic.  Besides the fact that I preach adjustments to my patients for overall health I take this very seriously when it comes to my health as well.  One of the main reasons I was able to achieve a short labor time with Kiaan was due to Chiropractic.  Chiropractic helps your ligaments relax and function optimally.  Since getting diagnosed I have been meaning to make it to get adjusted but with all the doctors appointments it was almost impossible.  But recently this week I was finally able to make it to our Chiro One South loop location to get adjusted by my  fellow colleague Dr. Loyal and afterwards I felt like a million bucks.  That was one thing that was missing in the past 4 weeks and as soon as my body got adjusted I was able to breathe better, think better and move better.  I always tell my patients never to miss an adjustment and now I need to start telling myself that.  I am lucky to work for a company that has so many locations and fellow doctors who are always willing to lend an adjustment.

When it comes to the spirit the only way to deal with a hardship is to hand it to our supreme power and put it in his hands.  I have never been a ‘religious’ person.  I am one of those people that if my mom tells me to do a certain prayer and do certain things I will comply.  I do believe in a supreme power and always remember to thank him when it comes to any achievements in life.  My mom has been amazing and every time she comes over she makes sure to place positive vibes throughout my living space with her word through prayer.  It so great to have her in my life and to have this positive force around me at all times. When I was diagnosed I never questioned my supreme power because my coach and mentor, Dr. George reminded me that in life you are never given more than you can handle.  I know this statement is true to my core and realize that hardships such as this only make us stronger in the end.

I have always been a busy person, I am one of those people that just cannot sit still. This is something where Bar and I are very different. When we have days off together his idea of relaxation is vegging out on the couch and watching movies all day. My idea of relaxation is watching one movie and then getting up and either organizing our clothes closets, our kitchen cabinets or completing re-arranging our fridge. I have this urge to at least do one thing productive on a day off otherwise I feel like I wasted it. With this diagnosis I am slowly adapting to Bar’s lifestyle and realizing relaxation is very important to recovery. With that being said I can’t completely let go off my old ways 😉 after all I am a creature of habit. The day before my second Chemo session I know I should have been relaxing but I wanted to cook dinner and try out a new recipe and pose a distraction for myself as to not think about the day ahead. Since going Paleo I have been experimenting with different ways to get healthy food in my diet. If anyone knows me they know that my biggest vice is cheese when it comes to unhealthy eating. So to replace cheese and carbs I found a cauliflower Mac and cheese recipe on Pinterest and decided to try it out.

http://fakeginger.com/loaded-cauliflower-mac-cheese/#_a5y_p=5637902

It was so easy to make and the nutritional yeast really helped and made it taste like real Mac and cheese, I highly recommend this recipe if you are looking for a gluten free, dairy free way to enjoy America’s comfort food, even my meat loving husband loved it! 😉

On Friday October 7th I had my second chemo session.  Since our parents take turns coming up to watch Kiaan, Bar’s sweet parents drove up at 5am to dodge traffic an brought us breakfast as well.  Family is the most important to rely on right now, they are the only ones who unconditionally love you even if you are in a bad mood, just are having an emotional day or need some space.  As I was taking a shower that morning I ran my hands through my hair and a bunch of strands just came out.  All the doctors and nurses prepared me for this day, they said as soon as day 14 hits your hair will start to fall out.  No matter how much you prepare yourself the emotions of this change are overpowering.  Even as I type this my eyes have started to well up again just like they did in the shower.  A part of me had that little glimmer of hope that I would be the one patient this would not happen too, even right now I have this feeling that my hair will only thin out and never completely fall out, only time will tell.

This day of chemo was a little different than our first, instead of being in a private room to ourselves we were in a POD with other patients.  It felt a little uncomfortable at first but the nurses were just as attentive and we still had a great view of the lake so it wasn’t so bad.  My oncologist joined us during my infusion to ask about my first experience with Chemo an to go over some details for future visits. She also informed us that my tumor had shrunk from 4.6cm to 3cm, this was great news considering I only had 1 session.  She did let us know that this is a normal response and it will only continue to shrink.

This was also my first session where two of our friends decided to join us!  Again what better way to pass the time and create a distraction than to catch up with friends and not think about the drugs and the reason we are here.  Meera came by from Wisconsin and has been such a huge help during this process.  She is a pediatrician and her knowledge when it comes to any questions about Kiaan has reduced our stress 10-fold.  Her husband Arun has been a really good friend of ours since college and is currently doing his fellowship in Oncology- what a power couple for us to have as such close friends.  We are blessed in so many ways.  Throughout this diagnosis we have been asking Arun questions to make sure we are on the right track and making the correct decisions and he has been nothing but helpful.  We also had our friend Priya visit us during her lunch break who is a GI nurse in the building next to us.  It was so nice to see her bubbly personality during this time- she is always so happy I love it!

After Chemo we went home and Meera accompanied us so she could meet Kiaan, it was a nice distraction for her to come with us so I could not think of the symptoms my body would experience in a couple of hours.  After she left I took a nap because the sense of exhaustion just took over, I also preemptively took my anti-nausea meds so I wouldn’t have the same experience as last time.  I slept a lot, woke up to eat something and then slept again.  But just like last session I awoke Saturday morning feeling completely normal.  I want for a walk with Harrison and Kiaan and was even able to squeeze in a work-out with a side of Friends while Kiaan napped.  Another great distraction has been receiving all the sweet messages from everyone and even getting deliveries in the mail.

I forgot to mention at my last Chemo session, prior to leaving in order to boost my white blood cell count I need to have a drug called Neulasta injected in me exactly 24 hours after chemo.  Northwestern is at the cutting edge of medicine because they have a device that they stick on me and it automatically injects the drug after 24 hours and I don’t have to make a special trip back to the hospital for it!  Another great distraction was the day after chemo my parents and Gargi, Shivam and Ariaan came over for lunch which really helped me feel normal again.  It was the first time both babies were awake so it was so exciting and adorable to see them interact,  I LOVE that our sons are so close in age because they are going to grow up more like brothers than cousins and that makes my heart so full.

On Tuesday October 11th is our other dog son’s 8th Birthday so we decided to celebrate a little early on Sunday.  We invited his dog friend Hades and his parents of course our good friends Rich and Pamela to a boat cruise and some navy pier fun along with our other friends Aalap and Pooja.  Harrison has never been to Navy pier or on the Chicago Ferry so we thought might as well treat him to what Chicago has to offer.  This was such a fun day and a great distraction to the other things that are going on in our life right now.  It was also a great reminder that no matter what obstacles life throws at you, you still have to go on with the normalcy it offers and celebrate milestones as they come without any regrets.