On Friday September 23rd at 8:50am I had my first Chemotherapy session.  My amazing parents came into the city the night before so they could watch Kiaan while I was getting my treatments (babies are not allowed on the infusion floor, either are dogs- was super bummed that Harrison couldn’t come with us)  I could barely sleep the night before because I was so nervous on what to expect the next day.  I read everything there was to know about my drug cocktail of Cytoxan and Adriamycin, it helps to have a Pharmacist husband who will give you all the facts at the drop of a hat. I also read and was educated extensively on the side effects of Chemo.  It’s interesting  when you come to an obstacle as extensive as this there are 2 kinds of people in the world, one is a person who wants to know all the facts up front and plans for the worst case scenario and the second is a person who wants to know all the facts but believes they will be the 1% who doesn’t experience the norm, I am the latter and Bar is the first.  I am a STRONG believer in the law of attraction or more popularly known as The Secret.  I know I can change the outcome of my life and circumstances by just attracting what I want.  This was first introduced to me by my sister, Sadhna and now we both always apply it to our lives.  As soon as I got my diagnosis she reminded me of the secret.  So I started to do more research on it and other avenues of faith to help me cope because otherwise I would just spend my days crying.  I came across further additions to the secret on Amazon and purchased both books right away.  These are what helps me whenever I need a reminder or positive reinforcement that everything is going to be okay.

We arrived at Northwestern at 8:30am and got called right away for blood work, they have to take my blood at each visit to monitor my white blood cell count before I can get my infusion.  After my blood draw we got placed in an exam room so I could meet with the Physicians Assistant and she could go over my blood work and measure the tumor size.  We waited for quite awhile before she entered the room.  She came in and went over the timeframe for the infusion which is 45mins for 1 drug and 20 mins for another with a 45min pre-drug to help with the nausea.   She also went over the side effects yet again.  She told me that after the infusion I would be taking a steroid at home for the next 4 days and that if I felt ANY nausea to take my as-needed meds.  She stressed that once I would start throwing up I most likely wouldn’t be able to be stopped and would potentially then be hospitalized for dehydration – I took this point to heart as I was not about to set myself back and ever get hospitalized during this phase.  After all the education she measured my tumor with palpation and stated that it was 4.6cm which is the same measurement for when I first met with the dcotor 2 weeks ago.  This was good news that it hadn’t changed since we delayed treatments because of fertility.  Getting the infusion was practically painless.  I had an amazing nurse who placed a flawless IV in my left hand.  I just felt a cold sensation as the drugs entered my body and at one point just felt a little drunk lol.

I was told to drink water throughout the infusion to combat any nausea that could occur.  I must have drank a gallon of water.  All the infusions went by very quickly and before we knew it, I was done.  I had completed my first session of Chemotherapy.  We got in the car to come home and I started to feel an overwhelming sense of exhaustion.  We came home to my parents and younger sister, Gargi at our condo.  It was so nice to see them and feel the sense of comfort only a family can give you.  They all left after about an hour and I told bar I needed to sleep.  I took a nap for about 2 hours, when I woke up I felt ‘off’ but fine overall.  We took Harrison and Kiaan for a walk and when we came back I told Bar to invite our friends, Kautook amd Forum to go out to dinner.  We picked up our friends and went to Connie’s pizza 5 minutes from our place, we sat at our table and all of sudden I got this feeling that I was going to throw up.  I  tried to brush it off thinking that these symptoms were not supposed to happen until 2 days post-chemo.  The feeling however, instead of subsiding was only getting more intense.  I looked up at Bar and we both realized we didn’t  have my meds with us, he immediately decides to rush home to grab them. Meanwhile I got up from the table and started making laps in the parking lot hoping that the fresh air would calm the nausea.  I walked laps for what felt like an eternity.  I saw Bar’s car finally making its way back into the lot, he gets out gives me my meds, I take them.  We go back inside to our friends and Kiaan and talk for another 10 minutes before I realize I am still not getting any better.  At this point I want to go back to Northwestern and get these drugs out of my system.  I try and divert my attention as we pack up the food and head home.  As soon as we get home I crawl into bed and fall asleep.  When I awoke the next day I felt like myself again.  Stats are just stats until you experience it.  Every doctor and research told us not to expect any side effects until 2 days post chemo I instead reacted the first day.  My next 2 days and everyday after have been amazing.  We were able to go to brunch Saturday morning and I was able to do my first work-out post fertility as well!

Another important aspect of treating my body besides chemo and exercise is diet.  I have been doing extensive research on what foods to stay away from and what foods to eat to help ease any and all side effects of chemo.  There are certain healthy cells that chemo drugs destroy in order to destroy the tumor cells as well.  Healthy cells of your gut, gums and hair are all affected.  With this in mind we incorporated a probiotic in my daily routine along with cultured yogurt.  I am a strong believer in inflammation in your body causes disease so I adapted a Paleolithic lifestyle as well.  This is what  my breakfast usually looks like. Antioxidants, cultured yogurt, protein, aloe Vera and of course a green juice(courtesy of Gargi or Mama Kumar)

Another unfortunate side effect of all breast cancer chemotherapy is hair loss.  This was one side effect I could not wrap my head around. Hair loss to me meant everyone would know I was “sick,” and I hated that I would be classified in this group.  After much support from family and friends saying everyone wears wigs, hair grows back and you have a nice shaped head, I slowly started to come to terms with it.  My supportive research driven husband made 2 appointments for me to meet with hair stylists who specialized in custom natural hair wigs.  After meeting with them and ordering a custom piece from J.crager alternatives I now feel more at ease.  I learned that hair doesn’t fall out until after your second round around Day 17 of chemo.

Another test we were waiting the results on was my genetics test.  I was tested for BRCA1/2,  PABL2 and TP53 on Tuesday September 13th and was told it would take over 4 weeks to get the results.  The results of this test would determine if my sisters or any future daughters I would have would need to get tested.  The results of this test would also determine what surgery options I would be presented along with my future for long term drug therapy.  On Thursday September 15th I got a call from my insurance company stating the genetics test I had done recently was not going to be covered.  As soon as I received this phone I called my genetics counselor right away.  We started emailing back and forth about the insurance coverage.  After about an hour she calls me saying she just got off the phone with the lab and assured me the test would be covered and that she also had my results – I put her on speaker phone and she told me I was NEGATIVE for all the genetic markers!!!  I got off the phone and rejoiced with Bar, Kiaan and Harrison! This was the BEST news we could have received a week before starting chemotherapy and we could not be happier! I immediately texted my sisters, called both sets of parents and hugged and kissed my beautiful little family.  This was the beacon of light amidst a heavy storm.